Tips for Student Pilots
Takeoffs are optional. Landings are mandatory
If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick back. Then they get bigger again.
Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is dangerous
It's always better to be down here wishing you were up there than up there wishing you were down here
The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire
The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating
When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided with the sky
A "good" landing is one from which you can walk away. A "great" landing is one after which they can use the plane again
Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself
You know you've landed with the wheels up if it takes full power to taxi to the ramp
The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of arrival. Large angle of arrival equals a small probability of survival and vice versa
Never let an airplane take you somewhere your brain didn't get to five minutes earlier
Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about might be another airplane going in the opposite direction. Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out in clouds
There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are
You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck
Keep looking around. There's always something you've missed
In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminum going hundreds of miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose
Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, experience usually comes from bad judgment
It's always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward as much as possible
There are old pilots and there are bold pilots. There are, however, no old, bold pilots
Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It's the law. And it's not subject to repeal
Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of takeoffs you've made
The three most useless things to a pilot are altitude above you, runway behind you, and a tenth of a second ago
And a bonus tip: Helicopters can't fly; they're just so ugly the earth repels them
And could someone explain to me calnickel's joke? I'm not fluent in aviation talk.